The joy of logs
May 14th, 2008My web-log analytics are a constant source of joy and amusement to me. People search for the strangest things, and a not insignificant number of them end up pondering my navel.
On the whole, the stranger search phrases people are using when they stumble into my belly button fall into the following categories…
Piercing
Now this isn’t altogether odd; I did write about Jessica Collins and her horrendous belly button piercing accident. The traffic is dying-off now, but for a while I was getting people searching on all sorts of belly button jewellery and piercing related phrases. The best ones are in the form of questions…
“How long will it take for belly piercing to close up after taken out?”
“Can I do cheer after getting my belly button pierced?”
Well, I am not really equipped to answer this sort of thing, but maybe I will seek out some advice on this sort of thing for the odd wayward web-searcher the drifts by this way.
Lumps & Smells
A lot of people seem concerned about the physical well-being of their belly buttons. I get a lot of visitors searching for things like…
“lump in my belly button”
“belly button smell”
“bits in my belly button”
“red lump in belly button”
“my belly button is red”
These people will be having less luck than the people searching for information about piercing. I am no doctor and shouldn’t even try to give medical advice, but I do have this to say:
If you at all worried about a medical problem, see a doctor, don’t use the internet. The internet is a great place to develop hypochondria and is full of people with opinions but no medical background. Go and see your GP or at least phone NHS Direct.
Odd Questions & Statements
Who goes to Google and searches for “pictures of my wife’s navel?”, or “what does belly button look like?” (this might actually be aliens planning their invasion on Google)? The slightly random questions are one thing, but the statements are better; here are some of the more interesting ones…
“My son loves my belly button”
“I love my enormous pregnant belly”
“My wife has an outie belly button”
“I have a belly button t-shirt”
That’s nice for you all. What do you actually want? I can actually see some of the troubles search engines have in returning relevant results to some people.
Last, and by no means least, is this fascinating little gem…
“he always compares my navel”
This is so tantalising; what does he compare it to? Come back, tell us, we need to know!
Tickling
This is my favourite. It isn’t weird, it isn’t gross, it isn’t puzzling, it is just a little but of harmlessness. People seem fascinated by navel tickling, and who can blame them? Here are a few of the great searches people have been landing here from…
“belly button tickling”
“navel tickling”
“belly button tickling stories”
“bellybutton tickling pictures”
“exposed belly button tickle”
“he tickles my navel”
The last one almost made it into the Odd Questions & Statements section above, and I do wonder if it is the same person that has a man that compares their belly button. You have to love the ticklers.
I know, I know, where is the latest fluff report? I have a not insubstantial pile of belly button fluff from the last few months and you want details. I have yet to decide how to process it; do I photograph it en-masse or do I go all the way and photograph each piece? I am thinking en-masse (maybe a selection of the more interesting pieces of lint on their own as well). Also, I am not near a camera today, so have a little patience.